


Waking Daniel

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Adult Content, Angst, Drama, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-04-28
Updated: 2006-04-28
Packaged: 2019-02-02 06:15:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12721185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: Jack struggles with the insight of his budding relationship with Daniel, Sam finds the true meaning of friendship, Teal'c is the calm background peacemaker, and the rest of the SGC faces disaster!





	Waking Daniel

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

  
Author's notes: Loads of thanks again go to my Beta, Kay.  


* * *

Jack smiled as hair tickled his nose. Daniel's weight was a welcome change. He'd missed this so much throughout the years. When he'd realized his feelings for a certain archaeologist, he'd remained celibate. After all these years of almost losing his friend several times, it felt beyond nice to be able to hold him securely in his arms. Yesterday they had broken through some major barriers, but there was still a long way to go. The day of revelations had brought on a long night of nightmares. Jack had managed to stop most of them before they got too bad, but neither of them had gotten much sleep.

However, today was Christmas Eve, and he was looking forward to dinner tonight. He told himself that he really should get up and start getting ready. 

Unfortunately, that would mean moving Daniel, and he wasn't quite prepared to do that yet. They'd been in bed since early last night, with Daniel fading in and out of his nightmares. Now Jack was torn between letting him sleep, or getting him up to feed him. Daniel needed the rest, but he needed food too. Dr. Janet Fraiser had been very specific on what would make Daniel well again.

"And we will make you better, Danny. I'm not going to lose you. Not now," he whispered. But Jack was worried. Yesterday, they had healed Daniel's soul. Starting today, they had to heal his body. It was going to take time, and care. Months of neglect had brought Daniel very near death. Doc Fraiser had been very stern in explaining that it couldn't be undone overnight. They had a very long road ahead of them, with so many ways it could all go wrong along the way.

Nature was demanding he take care of his own bodily functions, but before getting up, Jack burrowed his face into Daniel's neck, and inhaled the scent that he had loved for so long, and always been denied. Even in sleep, Daniel gave a gentle sigh of contentment, and Jack felt his heart sing. There was trust here, in the moments between sleep and awake, that Daniel rarely had the opportunity to show. Daniel had an awful habit of letting his brain get in the way. They had slept this close before, hence why Daniel didn't have any problems with it. But that had been for warmth. This was... nice. Years of sharing close spaces with the archaeologist had been a sweet torture. Jack hadn't thought Daniel would be comfortable with being naked yet, so they'd slept in pajamas. The look of utter gratitude Daniel had shot him, helped firm up his idea that it would take more than overnight to heal his soul, too.

~*~

Daniel stuck his head around the corner, following the smell of coffee. Starbucks?

"Jack?" But the kitchen was empty. Daniel shrugged, and headed over to the machine, pouring himself a large mug of steaming bliss. He yawned, then laughed. The rest had felt good, despite constant interruption by the nightmares. Jack had been there each and every time, and soothed him back to sleep. He'd missed Jack when he woke up, but knew from experience he was an early riser.

Jack came into the kitchen and found Daniel staring at his coffee, his eyes a million miles away. Colonel Sappy wanted to announce his presence by putting his arms around him, though he knew that wasn't a wise move. Daniel was starting a homosexual relationship after several years of sexual abuse. Scaring him would be cruel. Erring on the side of caution, Jack cleared his throat.

"Danny?" Daniel seemed to come back with a start, and beamed a smile that would light Jacks heart forever. Yep, he thought, definitely going to be sappy. Now that Daniel had noticed him, he slid his arms around Daniel's waist, slowly, giving Daniel every chance to hint if he didn't want contact. When none came, he pressed his chest against the young man's back, turned his nose into the silk locks of his lover. He felt Daniel shiver as his breath ghosted his ear. "Is this okay?"

"I'm not fragile, Jack," Daniel pointed out gently. Jack smiled. Daniel would have to learn to be patient. He knew Jack was only being cautious because he cared. Patience was just a small price to pay. He'd finally gotten everything he'd ever wanted, and was not going to risk losing it just because he didn't think before he acted.

"No, you're not. But I am the sappiest man around, and I love doing stuff like this. I don't know what happened, Love. I don't know what's taboo, and what's okay. So you're going to have to help me, okay?" Daniel nodded, absently. Jack frowned, and glared. It was important to him to ensure Daniel understood he wouldn't force him into anything sexual at this point.

"Daniel, I'm serious. You need to tell me if something makes you uncomfortable. I don't want to hurt you, or scare you. If you want, or don't want to do something, ask me."

"I've never been in a relationship with a man, Jack. I don't know the rules." Daniel couldn't hide the doubt in his voice. 

"Hey," Jack interrupted, turning Daniel around in his arms without letting go. He needed to see his face. "This isn't about rules. Just like I don't believe that you're a textbook case of a rape victim. This is about you, me, and what we feel comfortable with. Now me, I'm pretty easy. I love to hold you, Daniel. Love to cuddle. I do it all. If you want something, just ask me."

Daniel searched the brown eyes, seeking the truth. Jack's tone might have been light, but dead seriousness behind the statements was there. Yes, there was something he wanted. Badly. He knew sooner or later Jack would see, guess, understand and then deliver. But he didn't want it to be that way. It wasn't fair for this relationship to be one-sided, no matter what his past experiences had been. Jack had had to ask for a kiss once, and that was once too many. He knew he needed to show that he was a part of this relationship, and felt the same way about Jack. He shouldn't give Jack a reason to think that he was only in this relationship because Jack was forcing him into it. It wasn't true, but he knew his friend, and knew how Jack worked and thought. Knew that eventually, it would come to that. It would be hard to reach out, to show Jack the affection and devotion he so deserved, but it was worth it. Daniel knew he had the power to destroy this relationship before it ever really got started. He was humbled by that knowledge.

Daniel looked down shyly, gathering his courage in one deep breath. "What about?" Then, he kissed Jack. Nothing really passionate, but a kiss that was deep enough to well and truly leave the older man breathless, and a little stunned. 

Jack grinned; he knew how much it had taken for Daniel to offer that one small thing. Surprise seemed like such a mild emotion for what Jack was feeling. He knew Daniel would try his best, but Jack hadn't honestly expected much in the beginning. Even his usual pats were met with tension. There were some serious barriers to overcome. This unexpected act was nothing short of a gift. Jack understood that even a little thing like a kiss was no easy feat for his lover. 

"Oh yeah, love doing that too. You can do that anytime you want. In fact, I order you to do it just like that at least once a day." Daniel grinned, pleased that his impulsiveness had been well received. Jack loved that smile. God, Daniel didn't smile enough. And it was no wonder. The universe seemed to have it out for Dr. Daniel Jackson. Daniel's life had left him with little to smile about. Jack hoped to change that. He vowed that if it took the rest of his life, Daniel would smile more often, would laugh... would be truly happy.

First, though, he had a question he really needed to ask. "Danny, seriously. I really need to know if there's something you don't like, or aren't comfortable with. Promise me you'll tell me, and not just suffer through it?"

Daniel started to object. Looking up at Jack's pleading eyes, he could see this meant a lot to his friend. Was it possible to fall in love with someone, then love them more every time they spoke? For a man who claimed not to be good with these things, Jack had a thousand answers, and all of them were just the right one for Daniel. Despite that, or maybe because of it, he couldn't promise. It was an impossible one to keep. Unless his body reacted obviously, then he'd more than likely sit through it, and learn to live with it. Instead, he offered what he could, hoping that Jack would understand.

"Don't ever call me Baby," he whispered, shuddering with loathing even as the name left his lips. Jack tightened his arms, and nodded. He wasn't stupid. Daniel refused to make a promise he knew, damn well, he wouldn't keep. Jack vowed to keep a close eye on his lover's reactions, and make his own judgments about Daniel's comfort zone.

"Muffin?" he teased, trying to lighten the mood. Daniel laughed. Jack hugged him tighter, before easing up. He thought it would be a few more minutes before he was ready to let go. Daniel's confession made him remember something. "Um, what about Babe? I'm horrible for it. It's always been my gender definition. Men were babe, women were ba... that other one."

Daniel nodded. He wasn't used to endearments of any kind, unless uttered through the filthy mouths of those... no, it was Christmas Eve, and he had vanquished the worst of his holiday ghosts yesterday. Today, he was loved, cared for and content. Trying to drown his darker thoughts, he took a sip of the delicious liquid. He closed his eyes and hummed. After three years of friendship, Jack finally knew how to make coffee.

Jack watched the expression on his lover’s face, and found he had to pull away. Christ, if Daniel looked like that for a sip of coffee, how did he look when he came? The man looked positively orgasmic. He'd seen the look a hundred times over a campfire over the years, and his reaction to it never changed. His traitorous cock twitched, and he quickly went over to start fixing brunch. It was almost noon. It was also a distraction. He didn't want to put 'Daniel' and 'sex' together yet.

"Waffles, or eggs?" He asked, hiding in the fridge. Daniel wasn't ready for that. He might never be. While he seemed ready to accept that Jack loved him, he probably hadn't realized Jack wanted him in a sexual way yet. Not being able to supply would hurt Daniel, deeply. Or worse, force Daniel into giving Jack something he wasn't ready to give yet. He had to be careful. If Daniel ever got it into his head that he was forcing Jack to live without something because of him, Daniel would split. That was the last thing Jack wanted. He knew the limitations put before him, and accepted them. So while the idea of living without sex didn't exactly thrill him, he would do it for Daniel.

"Toast?" Daniel asked hopefully. Jack straightened up at the fridge, glaring at his lover. Then his glare changed to concern.

"Your stomach?" 

"My stomach and food aren't really on speaking terms yet." Daniel lowered his head, embarrassed by the admission. Jack really had taken on more than was necessary. He wasn't worth all the bother, no matter what the man thought.

"Okay, toast. But I want you to eat throughout the day. Small meals, more frequently. And not just toast! Doc warned me you might feel this way, so I have yogurt, and lunch meats - lots of stuff for snacks."

"I'm sorry, Jack. I really didn't mean to..." Daniel trailed off. There was no way any apology he offered would be enough.

"Hey, I know. A lot of shit has gone down the last couple of months. It happened, it's over. Now we pick up the pieces. One day at a time, Dannyboy." Jack was making the toast while he spoke. Then he laid the plate of dry toast in front of Daniel.

"Thanks, Jack." Jack nodded, and went over to the counter to get the turkey ready. He carefully lifted the skin, and spread butter underneath. It would help to brown the skin and make it crispy. Hearing a door slam, he looked up quickly, finding Daniel gone. Daniel had taken only two bites gone from his toast! Washing his hands, he hurried to the bathroom. 

Knocking on the door, he waited for an answer, but it was quiet. Concerned, he opened the door.

"Aw, Danny," he whispered softly. The younger man was leaning over the toilet, bringing up the few bites he'd had. Jack helped him clean up when he was finished, then steered him over to the bed. He placed the covers over Daniel, then sat down beside him.

"I'm sorry."

"No more apologizing. You're sick. Jesus, Danny, you're damn near dead. Give it time. You get some rest. I'll wake you in a bit to have something to eat before the others show up." He frowned at the heat he felt coming from the man. Daniel was already asleep. Making a quick decision, Jack reached for the cordless phone as he moved out of the bedroom. He quickly dialed Janet's house.

"Hello?"

"Janet, Jack."

"What's wrong?"

"Daniel. He's got a fever." 

"I'm coming over." The sudden sound of the dial tone let Jack know Janet was anxious about her patient. Jack bit his lip, concerned. 

Janet had warned him about a lot of things, but fever had never come into it. There was nothing for the body to fight. Which meant that between last night and today, Daniel had developed an infection of some sort. Daniel's immune system had been compromised by his lack of basic nutrition. It was possible he had picked something up, though unlikely in so short a time. Remembering the Doc's concern for Daniel's weakening organs only made him worry more.

He distracted himself by getting the turkey in the oven. He didn't believe in stuffing it. Raw turkey equaled bacteria. And he could never quite believe that the dressing in the centre got cooked enough to be rid of it. Better to use the juices to flavor the dressing later. He almost laughed. Not only sappy, but well and truly domesticated to boot.

The door swung open just as he was closing the oven. He glanced at his watch. Damn, the woman had made good time. It was probably a good thing he'd left the door unlocked, expecting her. He didn't think the lock would have slowed her down much.

"Colonel?" Janet called out. She didn't even wait for an answer, and headed upstairs to the spare room. The thought that she might be intruding never crossed her mind. The Colonel had called her; she came. If he expected politeness, their phone call wouldn't have been as terse as it was. She couldn't stop the smile on her face when Jack joined her as she was moving to the master bedroom. "I really hope you don't have a good excuse for this," she teased. Jack shrugged. He did. The ensuite in the master was the only working bathroom, and Daniel had been in no shape to venture far from it yesterday.

Janet frowned when she saw her patient. Daniel looked worse than ever, but she had expected that. It was the way of medicine that things got worse before they got better. It was her job to control how much worse.

"He's slept a lot, and he can't keep anything down," Jack reported. Janet smiled up at him as she knelt beside the bed.

"But he did try to eat?" 

"Yeah. We had a long, long talk yesterday. Got some things settled. Why didn't you tell me, Janet?" Jack watched as she carefully examined his lover, trying not to wake him up. They were whispering to each other, and held their breath every time Daniel twitched. He desperately needed the sleep. It didn't escape him that Janet knew exactly what he was talking about.

"I couldn't. That would have been a step too far, even for me. I really didn't know enough to tell, only what the medical report said, and what it hinted at. Better for the two of you if he told you. His temperature is 103, and I don't like the sound of his breathing. I'm going to give him a shot of-" she turned to speak to Jack, caught his glare, and turned back to her patient. "Right, I got it. Just do it." Janet quickly interrupted herself.

She rose after administering the shot, and they went back downstairs. 

"How is he? Really?"

"It looks like just a part of his allergies. It could be anything, from the dust, to the material in the bedding. And obviously in trace amounts for it to take so long. It probably normally wouldn't even bother him. But in his condition, every little complication is going to make it that much harder for him to recover. I don't think I'm going to have a choice. I'm going to have to put him in the infirmary."

Jack growled. They'd accomplished so much. The infirmary would only depress Daniel further, and it might undo every little bit of good they had done. He couldn't risk that. 

"Why don't you and Cassie stay here?" Janet looked up, surprised. "I mean, we can take him to the mountain for tests, but you should be able to help him here, right? At least until he's past the critical stage, anyway. He doesn't want to be there. Or you can come check on him everyday, or something."

"Colonel!"

"Please, Janet. You said yourself being there wasn't going to help him. We covered a lot of ground yesterday, but not nearly enough." Janet took one look at the pleading, sincere and very, worried, brown eyes. She caved in. 

"All right. I'll send a nurse over on tomorrow with some equipment. Better, I'll bring it myself, and check on him while I'm here. For tonight, just watch him closely, and make sure he doesn't overdo it. And Colonel, the walk to the bathroom is over doing it. He'll never let you see how weak he is, and by the time you see it, it's too late. I'd prefer if he didn't have any alcohol. His system can't really handle it." Jack nodded. No wonder Daniel was wiped. Emotionally, yesterday definitely qualified as over doing it.

"Okay, tie him to a chair. Got it. Call you if his fever goes up. Get him to the mountain if his breathing looks bad. Gotcha." Janet smiled. 

"Why, Colonel, you'd think you've done this before." 

"With Mr. Safety up there? Nah, never. Just guessing." Janet lost her smile. 

"I truly am sorry, Jack. I should have warned you yesterday that Daniel might not be open to a relationship with you." Jack smirked.

"Like you said, it was more important that he tell me what happened by himself. But it's amazing what love can work through." Jack tried to keep the smugness from his expression, and failed miserably. He was proud of how far he and Daniel had come yesterday.

Janet was stunned. "You don't mean to tell you and he are in a- No, that's not possible. Not with his background."

Jack shrugged and toed the carpet. "Nothing sexual. It's going to be a long time before that happens. If ever. I love him, Janet. I wasn't joking when I said it. Sex is a bonus, yeah. But if he's never ready, that's fine with me. Daniel is stronger than any of us give him credit for. And way stronger than he gives himself credit for, that's for sure. We'll make it, with patience and understanding."

Janet nodded, her respect for this man increasing ten fold. But she had one more concern.

"He's working so hard for this, for you. I'm not sure he can just shut it off when it comes time to go back on base. And I'm not entirely convinced it's fair to ask him to do it."

"He'd never ask. I knew what I was getting into, Janet, but I appreciate your concern," Daniel spoke from his perch against the kitchen wall. He'd woken up to voices, and had come down just in time to hear Jack's little declaration. He smiled as Jack immediately moved to put his arm around his waist, helping to support him. Janet smiled indulgently. Maybe it wasn't Daniel's ability to shut it off that she should be worried about.

"You shouldn't be up, Danny."

"Jack, I'm fine." Daniel assured him softly, embarrassed about the attention Jack was giving him in front of Janet. Jack glanced back at her, but immediately turned his attention back to his lover. He could feel tremors running through Daniel's fevered body. He'd worry about what Janet thought about his mother hen act later.   
Janet flashed the two men a tentative smile. She didn't like the look of her patient at all. Her doctor's eyes and ears could pick up the strain of Daniel's breathing, and she could tell Jack didn't like the look of it any more than she did. Jack put his hand gently on Daniel's chest.

"Doc!" Janet was already moving. Daniel was sweating heavily, his breathing coming in short gasps. The trip down the stairs had been too much. Janet was starting to think she'd over estimated Daniel's strength. She quickly checked him over. 

"Help him over to the couch! I'm going to get a cold compress." Daniel objected weakly, but didn't fight the offer of Jack's support. Janet came back into the room as Jack assisted Daniel to lie back. She pressed a cold cloth on the young man's forehead.

She frowned, and shot a glance at the Colonel. Jack sighed in frustration, and nodded. Daniel coughed out a laugh.

"You might as well say it. I'm a linguist remember? I'm going back to the infirmary, aren't I?" 

"I'm sorry, Daniel. It's just too dangerous to leave you here like this. Your fever keeps going up, and I'm worried about your breathing. This didn't just pop up from nowhere, Daniel. I'm going to have to run some tests. This can't be a simple allergy reaction, Colonel. It doesn't make sense for the symptoms to get progressively worse like this." 

Daniel sighed. "It's okay. I did this to myself. But we should go now, before Carter and Teal'c show up. I'm not really up to answering their questions." 

Jack shook his head. "No, I’m going to cancel-"

"Don't you dare! I did this! I screwed up! No way is anyone else paying for it! Sam and Teal'c both put off their own plans, and you've worked hard. I'll see you later, Jack." Daniel was firm in his decision. He wasn't going to ruin his teammates’ evening.

Jack nodded, but he didn't like it. He would worry about his lover all night. Even more so, if he wasn't under his own watchful eye. But insisting would only upset Daniel more. He let Janet bundle Daniel up and out the door, hating having to let him go. 

No choice. 

~*~

Janet frowned as she looked over her patient's chart. Daniel was getting worse by leaps and bounds. This was obviously more than a reaction to an allergen, as she'd first suspected. She was waiting for the blood work to come back. Until it did, she really didn't have a clue what to look for. Her two most likely suspects, allergies or infection, had been tested and dismissed. Daniel had been weak, but hadn't complained of any pain other than the headache, joint and muscle pain that came with a fever.

Daniel himself had fallen asleep soon after she had completed her testing. The IV's he was attached to would battle the dehydration and malnutrition, though he would need solid food sooner rather than later. She could do nothing else until she found the culprit, which she was at a loss to discover. It was almost as though Daniel had simply stopped fighting, though that didn't make any sense. Not if what the Colonel had told her was true. Now more than ever, Daniel had a reason to live. No, even three days ago she might have accepted that, but not now.

The Colonel had said they'd had a long talk yesterday. Could that have sapped what little energy and strength Daniel had had?

Just then, the off world activation klaxons blared.

"MEDICAL EMERGENCY IN THE GATEROOM! REPEAT, MEDICAL EMERGENCY IN THE GATEROOM." 

She ran.

~*~

The doorbell brought Jack from his brooding. Daniel had left four hours ago with Janet. Jack had prepared for the evening by rote, his mind and heart with his stricken lover. Opening the door, he found Major Samantha Carter and Teal'c standing there. She looked lovely. Tight, black jeans, an off the shoulder white sweater. Her blonde hair was carefully styled to look as though she'd done nothing to it, though the look itself belied the hour, at least, that she had spent working on it. A silver chain with a mother of pearl length pendant brought attention to her cleavage nicely.

"May we come in, O'Neill?" Teal'c asked. Jack flushed when he realized he'd been staring, and stepped back to allow them access.

"Yeah, sure." Teal'c himself was dressed in beige khakis and a dark brown sweater. The baseball cap threw the elegant look off completely, but it was only temporary anyway. Teal'c didn't need to hide his gold tattoo while he was with friends. "Drinks?"

"Eggnog, Sir, if you have it."

Jack forced a grin. "It's Christmas, Carter. Of course I have it! In fact, it's an O'Neill family recipe."

"Is there beer in it, O'Neill?" Teal'c inquired. Carter laughed, causing Jack to stop his trek to the kitchen and glare at the huge J'affa. He turned back and decided that the comment wasn't even worth an answer. He could hear Carter snickering at that, too.

"You guys look great, by the way. All fancied up, just for the likes of me! I feel special!" In truth, he felt a little guilty. Yesterday, he had spent the day convincing Daniel he loved him, and today he had been caught staring at Carter's cleavage. He was male, of course, and he could easily blame the pendant. Then it occurred to him that Daniel thought he had a thing for Carter, and he'd never really denied it.

He brought out the eggnog, and a pint of spiced rum, leaving it to them to decide if they wanted alcohol. Teal'c, he knew, would go most of the evening without drinking, allowing himself only a small glass for the toast.

"You don't look that bad yourself, Sir," Carter answered with a nod. Jack couldn't tell if she was blushing or not, and her heavy makeup prevented it from showing.

"Drop the Sir, Carter."

"Drop the Carter, Sir." 

Jack laughed and held up his hands in defeat as they all settled into seats. Carter and Teal'c were on the couch, and Jack sat in his usual chair across from it.

"Dinner should be ready in about a half hour, so you'll have to entertain yourselves for the last fifteen minutes or so." 

"Will DanielJackson be joining us in that time, O'Neill?" Teal'c asked innocently. Jack sighed, wiping a hand through his hair.

"Daniel won't be joining us." 

Sam opened her mouth, obviously to ask why, then settled for, "I see." Teal'c came as close as he ever had in frowning, meaning his mouth twitched, and his jawline tightened. 

An awkward silence followed. Sam sipped her eggnog. Things had been strained between the four of them lately, but none more so than between Daniel and the Colonel. She had thought tonight was to be an attempt to mend the cracks in the foundations of their once solid friendship. Obviously not. Had Daniel turned down the invitation, or had the Colonel never bothered to ask? She wanted to ask, but felt it wasn't her place. She and Teal'c had discussed the difficulties in the team dynamics between themselves, but both felt that things had to be fixed between Daniel and Jack first. Then they could begin to mend their own fences.

Jack watched his two subdued teammates. Things couldn't go on as they were. He had wanted some time to talk with Daniel about this, but he didn't have much of a choice. This would be a very awkward evening if he didn't say something. Too much had happened between them lately, and lies would only make it worse. His decision made, he cleared his throat.

"Daniel's in the infirmary." He rapped out quickly. 

Carter looked up sharply, glancing at Tealc's grim expression before demanding, "Why? Is he okay?" 

Jack winced at her question. It hurt far more than he'd expected. However,Teal'c's calm acceptance of his statement regarding Daniel indicated that he had already had some idea what was wrong with Daniel, or at least that there was something wrong with him. Sam's panic was clearly a sign that she had been as ignorant of Daniel's condition as Jack had been.

"No, Carter, he's not. Nor has he been for quite some time. He hit rock bottom earlier today, while Doc Fraiser was here. He's sick, guys, real sick. And he hasn't been in a great place lately. Worse, he's been there alone."

"He could have come to us for help," Carter argued. 

Jack could hear the anger in her voice, and wondered about it. She had gone on the defensive soon after her panic had vanished. Then he remembered his thoughts earlier. Daniel and the entire base thought he had feelings for his 2IC. Did she think so too?

"He could not," Teal'c stated firmly. "There are some ghosts a warrior must bear alone. DanielJackson knew this."

"Bullshit!" Jack retorted without thinking. It made him angry to hear that coming from Teal'c. "We're his friends, his family. He should have come to us, just like we go to him. He's been there for us every time. We pushed him away for our own reasons."

His own words hit him in the face. He realized there was still a part of him that was angry with Daniel. For all his declarations of love, and understanding, he had missed the point entirely. Daniel could and would give them anything. All they had to do was ask, or even hint that they needed it. Giving friendship and love was the easiest thing in the world for his friend, but accepting it was very different. Daniel didn't think that he was worthy of their love, and friendship. He didn't know how to ask them for help. He'd been alone almost his entire life. Decades of independence weren't going to disappear over night. Especially since SG-1 had proven time and time again that if their work or their personal lives interfered with Daniel's needs, Daniel would be left alone in the dust. The truth hit him like a load of bricks, and it shocked Jack to his core. 

It took just one more small leap for Jack to realize this was the case in his relationship with Daniel as well. Yes, Daniel was willing to try, to overcome his own hurts and doubts, but deep down the young man was simply waiting for this relationship to be over before it ever really started. Daniel trusted Jack, wanted to believe in Jack, but ultimately was unable to do so because Jack hadn't proven himself, or his loyalty. Daniel was, after all, a scientist. Proof was worth its weight in gold. Daniel, accomplished linguist that he was, understood how words could be manipulated, changed, and twisted to suit any purpose, to accomplish any goal.

The sudden insight hurt Jack, but he wouldn't allow himself to back down. Slowly, it dawned on him exactly how much he had taken on in entering into this relationship. And how much he had to make up for! He'd proven himself a poor friend, of late. How could he expect Daniel to believe that he'd do better as a lover?

"Indeed," Teal'c responded to Jack's earlier observation. Teal'c keenly observed his friends and teammates. He was not blind to the under currents of human behavior. He knew each of his teammates’ reasons for pulling away from Daniel. He even understood his own reasons, although he was unsure how to remedy his own situation. Had Daniel been J’affa, Teal'c could have simply asked for some form of retribution for killing Sha're. However, by insisting on forgiving him, DanielJackson had left him with no recourse, no sense of direction. Teal'c's meager offering to protect Daniel, even if he had only made to himself, could not begin to be enough. Teal'c had made that pledge when he discovered it had been Daniel's beloved wife that he had selected as the Queen for Apophis. A pledge that would prove pointless if Daniel's health continued to deteriorate. Now he could add his own guilt and sense of failure for not informing Colonel O'Neill of his friend’s condition.

He had observed DanielJackson's quiet behavior surrounding the Tau'ri holidays for years, and had immediately noticed the difference this year. It had not taken much to guess at the cause. Knowing, however, was entirely different from acting. 

He had remained silent, and prayed that his friends would find a light to guide them through this difficult time, as before. Only, it seemed that he had forgotten that DanielJackson had been the light that had guided them all.

The phone rang, interrupting their silent thoughts. Jack grabbed it, still a little angry.

"What?"

"Colonel, are Sam and Teal'c with you?" Janet asked urgently. Jack frowned. The tone of her voice and the frantic activity going on in the background clued him in that this wasn't a pleasure call.

"Yeah."

"I need all three of you to return to base, immediately. Don't worry about changing, just get to ISO room 2 ASAP!"

"Doc, what's going on?"

"I'll explain when you get here. Go straight to the ISO room, Colonel. Don't stop to talk, change or get coffee, anything. Just come!"

~*~

Janet hung up the phone quickly. She really didn't have time to get into a long explanation. Just then, her nurse, Kelly, rushed up to her and handed her a folder.

"Doctor Jackson's test results." Janet opened the folder and quickly read through it. She snapped it shut again.

"Damn. He's got it too." She sent Kelly off to prepare the last available isolation room for the rest of SG1's arrival. Her infirmary was slowly filling up. 

SG-4 had come back through the Gate two days early because Lt. Gordon was ill with a fever, vomiting and weakness. He'd insisted it was nothing that they had returned only because they were afraid of infecting the population of PX2 876. Then people started coming in with the same symptoms, she began to worry. Dr. Warner had told her that several SGC staff had come down with a nasty bug, but that they had been medicated and sent home.

When she’d found the virus in almost every patient's bloodstream, she'd sent teams of nurses out to gather blood samples from the rest of the personnel on base on a hunch. Unfortunately, her hunch had been correct. Nearly eighty percent of the base carried the virus, even though most weren't showing any symptoms.

She'd never seen a particular virus like this before. It remained dormant until a chemical was introduced. This caused a violent flu like reaction. Ironically, the chemical in question appears to be caffeine. This is why it had taken so long to manifest itself. The base had been short on coffee the last two weeks when the order didn't come in. It became a smuggled luxury. She looked over the records, and discovered that nearly every cold or flu that had been treated during the 'coffee drought had manifested itself in the personnel who managed to smuggle in their own supply.

What she didn't know was how to get rid of the virus in either its active, or dormant stages. In most people, it just seemed to run its course, and return to a dormant state again. Further human trials had indicated that it could still be reactivated with the caffeine, over and over again.

"The pesky critter just won't die," she growled as she searched for answers. She'd almost run out of ideas.

"Doctor Fraiser? SG-1 is in ISO room 2, as ordered."

"Thanks, Nathan." Janet took a deep, calming breath, and quickly headed to the ISO.

~*~

"I wonder what's happening?" Sam asked as she paced around the room, wishing for once that there were windows. She felt a little foolish being on base in her nice clothes, and way too much make up on.

"I don't know. Doc sounded busy when she ordered us to come in. There's got to be something loose, or the hallways wouldn't have been empty."

Teal'c stood patiently as he listened as MajorCarter and O'Neill speculated. He was curious as well. However, he was not interested in idle speculation. He was sure that DoctorFraiser would provide them with clear, scientific explanations in time.

The door opened to admit the woman herself. She looked flustered, and tired.

"So, what's up, Doc?" Jack asked her with an impish grin.

Janet stopped, laughed and grinned. It was so utterly inappropriate to the seriousness of the situation, and she suspected the Colonel knew that much, at least. "Thank you, Colonel, I needed that."

Jack smiled at her. "Anytime. But seriously, what's up?"

He watched as Janet took a deep breath. "This base is infected with some kind of virus. From what I've been able to figure out, it has been around for some time. You've all had blood taken, so we can test for it."

"What kind of virus, Janet?" Sam asked.

"I don't know. It seems to act like a flu in some people, and can even be as mild as a cold in other people. It stays dormant in the body until a chemical, caffeine, believe it or not, activates it. The virus then runs it's course, and returns to its naturally dormant state. I'm at a complete loss as to how to get rid of it."

"So, why the big fuss about a little bug that's not life threatening?" Jack inquired.

Janet fixed him with a glare. "It's not life threatening now, Colonel. But with each re-activation of the virus, it mutates. The virus has altered completely almost beyond recognition from last week to today. If this continues, it will be very dangerous because there will be no way to stop it."

"Have you been able to find a stop-gap to slow the mutations, or the spread of the virus?" Sam asked.

Janet shook her head. "No, I haven't. We thought that perhaps since the virus became active when the stimulant, caffeine, was introduced, that a sedative could be introduced to at least return the virus to dormancy. It didn't work. We're running out of time before the virus mutates so much that it will become difficult to contain, and produce effective counter measures."

"This virus is not native to Earth?" Teal'c asked, speaking for the first time since entering the ISO room.

"I wouldn't think so, Teal'c. I've never seen anything like it before, and it's evolution is progressing much too quickly. It's not reacting like any pathogen I've ever seen. I've cut off all access to caffeine, but that will only delay the onset of the illness. We still need to find a way to eliminate it for good. I'm waiting for your blood tests to come back, because I'm really hoping that Sam and Teal'c aren't infected, which would make it all very easy."

"You don't sound very convinced that it's going to be that easy," Carter pointed out. 

Janet sighed. "How long have we worked here? I'm hoping that Sam and Teal'c will be resistant to the virus."

“You mean because of the naquadah in our blood?” Sam guessed.

“Yes,” Janet said reluctantly, “But naquadah has been the key so many times before, I hardly dare to hope.”

Jack had been watching the small doctor carefully. Something wasn't adding up. She was too panicked about this, in too much of a rush. Someone's life was being threatened, and he had a horrible feeling of who that was.

"Doc, how's Daniel?" 

Janet's carefully composed expression fell. "Daniel's infected too. If I hadn't brought him in tonight, who knows what might have happened." Janet shook her head, refusing to extend the thought beyond that. As it was, she could feel the Colonel assessing her, weighing her, digging for information without saying a word. Equally, she knew the instant he had found it.

"This isn't going to just run its course with Daniel, is it?" Jack asked carefully, his expression guarded. His earlier concern for Daniel leapt ten fold. 

Janet shifted. "It will, Colonel. Eventually. With caffeine being the activator, well, it might have been a joke at one time that Daniel's blood had been replaced with coffee, but suddenly it's not so funny anymore. It'll take time for the build up to leave his system. In the meantime, he has plenty to offer the virus."

Janet watched as Sam shook her head in dismay, while Teal'c appeared perturbed. But Jack wasn't finished yet. He was digging deeper, looking for more. She couldn't have hidden it if she tried. His face drained of all color.

"But that's providing he survives in the long run, isn't it?" Janet blinked back her own tears. God, she hadn't wanted to tell them this. Not yet.

"Daniel slipped into a coma an hour ago."

~*~

General George Hammond looked at the medical report in front of him. He'd locked down the Mountain an hour ago, when Doctor Fraiser had managed to recall the last of the homebound personnel. Three teams were stuck off world, unless they began to show signs of a cold. Since that lockdown, two had already returned, leaving only SG-9 on P3X-676 where they had been negotiating a treaty.

He'd been tempted to recall them anyway. Caffeine may actually activate the virus, but 15 percent of the personnel on base were carriers, even if they weren't symptomatic. SG-1 and SG-9 were the only two teams not tested yet. Doctor Fraiser was waiting for SG1's lab results now, though she speculated that since Daniel was infected, they were as well. Her only hope was that Major Carter and Teal'c would prove to be immune to the virus because of the naquadah in their blood.

With a sigh, he read further down the file, and closed his eyes in despair. Dr. Jackson was comatose. His previously weakened condition and high caffeine intake were the perfect feeding ground for the virus. She was doubtful that he would survive. A grief he had rarely allowed himself to feel, surfaced as he read. Not just for Daniel. Jack, Sam and Teal'c would be devastated. There had been so much unrest between the four of them lately that the rest of the base was walking carefully around his flagship team. It would kill all three of them if Daniel died while things were the way they were.

SG-1 would be destroyed after the guilt shifted into anger, and then to blame. For perhaps the first time, George realized the contribution to the SGC that Daniel had provided. It wasn't only that the young genius had opened the gate, he was the glue that held SG-1 together. Daniel gave them purpose, and guided them through the darkness. He commanded the respect and admiration of those around him as easily as any good officer simply by being himself.

"Don't do this to us again, son. We barely made it through with Nem's little stunt. One more miracle, Daniel. That's all we need. Just one more."

~*~

Three days later, Jack was wandering around Daniel's apartment. Haunting it was closer to the truth. When they'd been dragged in, Fraiser had discovered he wasn't infected. It had only added to the mystery of how the virus had spread. She had been more than frustrated. He remembered the conversation.

~*~

"Well, Colonel, you don't appear to be infected," Janet announced. Jack looked up in surprise.

"What? How's that possible?" 

"I don't know. We're going to take some more blood. Perhaps you have a natural immunity to it?"

Jack snorted "One man in how many personnel, Doc? Come on, even Carter and Teal'c are infected. And I've been in closer contact with Daniel than anyone. Much closer, Doc, if you get the drift."

~*~

She had, and it had stumped her. He wasn't even a carrier. There were no signs of the virus in his bloodstream. It was the first time he wished he had. She had released him from the base to prevent him from contracting it. For three days, he'd been sitting at his house sulking and worrying about Daniel, who still hadn't woken up from the coma. Daniel’s vital signs were getting weaker. Even as the illness cleared up in most of the other personnel, and the disease returned to a dormant state in them, Daniel was still fighting for his life. It wouldn't let him go.

Today, he'd decided he couldn't stand waiting by the phone for another phone call from Janet, Carter or Teal'c announcing that Daniel was getting worse. So he'd come here. What an improvement. Not!

Daniel hadn't been home since Jack had called him almost a week ago now. It was clear to Jack that Daniel had done just what he'd predicted, and dumped everything where it was. The coffee table, couch and surrounding floor were covered with books, legal pads and three tablets. Dirty tablets. He looked around the area and saw dust everywhere. He hoped that Daniel was up to date on his allergy shots.

Deciding he had nothing better to do, Jack took a look at Daniel's notes, then he sighed. They were in Spanish. Not really surprising since the tablets appeared to be as well. He didn't touch, because he didn't think Daniel would appreciate coming back to find his carefully organized notes all over the place. 

Jack smiled to himself. Only he knew that Daniel's apparent organizational chaos was deceptive. There was a reason for every placement of every page, every resource. His office at the base was a mess, but if you asked, Daniel could produce anything you requested, or anything he was looking for, in seconds. As Daniel had a tendency to turn any space he was in into an office, his home was no different, and less confined. 

He glanced at the tablets. His Spanish was rusty, and only at a high school level. He could only make out a few words, but it was enough to let him know the tablets appeared to be written in a poetic code. Daniel hadn't bothered to translate his notes to English yet, as there was no reason to. Worked easier for him if he could work it out in Spanish first, then translate his notes to English for submission.

Jack carefully picked up a page near the outer ring of the area where the pages were laid out in a pattern. It was clean, and seemed Daniel had finished with it anyway. The ideas were jotted down in hurriedly, but in very neat handwriting. Although they seemingly had no order, Daniel had used many of these pages while translating. Put together they illustrated the originality of Daniel's thought processes. 

Then something caught his eye.

"Precávase el sostenedor de mi confianza, ya que soy la serpiente, y el veneno mi respuesta." Beware the holder of my trust, for I am serpent, and venom my answer. Serpent? His interest suddenly aroused, Jack grabbed the other notes around the outer ring of research and sat down in a chair opposite the mess.

"Me escondo en las hierbas de sangre, y ataque desde dentro. Cuando debilitado mi enemigo que tengo, infortunio al mundo que creo." I hide in the grasses of blood, and attack from within. When weakened my enemy I have, woe to the world I create. Daniel had written both in capital letters. Were they translations, quotes, hints, what?

Snakes? Weakened enemy? Creating worlds? Jack's first connection to all of these was the Goa'uld, but somehow, this seemed far too subtle for them. The Snakes liked being loud, boisterous and flagrant as they conquered. A new enemy? Jack suddenly had a feeling that this was very important.

Several hours later Jack was wondering why the hell Daniel thought this stuff was fun. It was taxing his limited Spanish capabilities, tired and still worried about Daniel. Everything he read appeared to him to point to a Goa'uld, which he was very certain was not the case here.

One sentence kept throwing him off that theory.

"Soy pequeño, y usted puede encontrarme débil. La desesperación cuando triunfo todos. Su curiosidad será su final." I am small, and you may find me weak. Despair when I conquer all. Your curiosity shall be your end. It just didn't seem to fit with the rest. Daniel had made several notes along the way, referring often to punishment for disturbing something. La Tierra Sagrada más Santa. He knew La Tierra, or could guess. Earth, something, or dirt. Sagrada más Santa meant nothing to him.

Jack picked up the phone and he dialed the Linguistics' Department at the mountain. 

There was a sniffle, then a congested voice said, "Allo?" Jack thought about berating the man for not identifying himself when he picked up the phone, but the man sounded so miserable and ill that he let it go.

"Colonel O'Neill here. Do you speak Spanish?"

"Yes, Sir."

"What does 'La Tierra Sagrada más Santa' mean?"

"Most Holy Sacred Ground."

"Thanks." Jack hung up before he got asked for an explanation. It still didn't make sense. The Goa'uld taught many of the people they had enslaved that their temples were Holy and untouchable. Punishment was swift, and public.

"Okay, not the Snakeheads. New enemy? Conquering all..." Jack mulled the words over and over. Nope. Wasn't helping. "Okay, O'Neill, stop thinking like a Colonel, and think like Daniel. What would he see in these words?" 

It was almost two am when the answer hit him. Hide in grasses of blood. Attack from within. Small. Weak. Conquer all. 

"Shit, shit, shit," Jack cursed as he picked up the phone. Daniel had had the answer all along!

~*~

"I don't understand, Colonel, how did the virus spread from the dirt on the tablets to everyone on base, except you?" General Hammond asked. Jack smiled sheepishly.

"The virus was in the dirt that had caked onto the tablets, Sir. When Daniel dug them up, he must have gotten dirty. When he changed, he left his uniform in the laundry room to be collected."

Carter stared at him, stunned. It was so simple. 

"So when everyone's uniforms got washed together, the virus multiplied and spread. Water must have been a good breeding ground. I don't understand how an alien could have known whatever race disturbed the tablets would have had caffeine, Sir." 

"Most worlds have stimulants of some kind, MajorCarter," Teal'c suggested. 

Sam nodded in agreement, then shot the Colonel a puzzled look. "So how did you avoid becoming infected?" She was amused when the Colonel's face flushed a little red. Not a full blown blush, but probably as close as she would ever see.

"I'm, uh, allergic to the brand of laundry detergent they use, so I take my stuff home and wash it there. I have several different uniforms of each kind, so if I don't always get around to it right away, it's not a problem. As of yet, I still haven't done my laundry." Jack saw Carter press her lips together in a quickly suppressed smile. Then she shook her head. Jack became embarrassed. "For cryin' out loud, Carter, give me a break! I'm a bachelor!"

"We still have the problem of actually killing it, Colonel. I don't suppose the tablets mentioned that?" Janet, who had been silent until now, asked. Everyone looked at him, but Jack could only shake his head. He suddenly understood a margin of the pressure that Daniel felt when they all looked to him for answers. 

"I can't read the tablets, Sir. I could only read Daniel's notes, and he mentioned nothing about it. He didn't even mention the virus directly."

"So how were you able to discern the connection between the tablets and the virus, O'Neill?" Teal'c asked. Sam watched, and was surprised again. She really was going to get to see the Colonel make a full-blown blush! 

"I know how Daniel thinks." Jack was only glad that no one had really stopped to ask why he'd been in Daniel's apartment in the first place.

"We're missing something," Janet announced. All eyes turned toward her. "Think about it. Daniel had been exposed time and time again. His coffee addiction should have activated the virus sooner, rather than later. Considering how hard and how quickly, it hit him, he would have been in the infirmary long before now. There's got to be something else."

"Food," Jack blurted. Janet frowned at him. "He was fine until I tried to make him eat. That's when it hit him." 

Janet nodded, and begged permission to leave from the General. She had more testing to do, and Daniel was running out of time.

~*~

"Damn it!" Nathan jumped with the force of Fraiser's barked curse. She was tired, and frustrated. There were apparently two activators needed- caffeine and protein. They'd made a logistic leap there! However, they still had no idea how to get rid of the virus permanently. With everyone being forbidden caffeine of any kind, and no high protein meals, the base was a bad place to be. Everyone was cranky.

Nathan knew she hadn't slept for more than an hour or so each night for a little over a week. Doctor Jackson's condition had degenerated so seriously that now he was on a ventilator. Nor had he awoken from his coma. He was alive simply because of the machines keeping him that way. This was an added stress that he knew Dr. Fraiser didn't need right at this moment. Even the rest of SG-1 had stopped hounding her for permission to sit with their teammate. Dr. Daniel Jackson, it seemed, was patient zero. She had kept them away for fear of SG1 infecting Daniel with the new strain of the virus.

Nathan hesitated only a moment before putting a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Doctor Fraiser, why don't you get some rest? You're no good to Doctor Jackson or anyone else without a clear head." Fraiser smiled at him, clearly exhausted, angry and frustrated.

"I couldn't sleep anyway, Nathan, thanks though." 

"At least have something to eat in the commissary." She knew he'd gently hound her until she had a meal. She nodded. Maybe some food would help clear her head a little, at the very least.

~*~

"Janet!" Doctor Fraiser looked up at Sam's urgent call across the commissary. The Major looked excited, and happy, though clearly as exhausted as she was. Despite her orders, SG-1 clearly wouldn't rest until Daniel was safe.

"Sam! What's wrong?" Carter sat down quickly across from her friend.

“I think I thought of a way to buy you and Daniel some time.”

“I’m listening,” Janet answered carefully. Sam took a deep breath.

“The Colonel is the only one on base not infected, right?” Janet nodded. “So, wouldn’t that mean he has some kind of natural immunity to it? Or something in his blood to keep the virus dormant?”

“He doesn’t have it, Sam. He’s not even a carrier. There are no traces of it in his bloodstream. I see where you’re going with this, but it won’t work. It could take months to identify the immunity agent in the Colonel’s body. It could be one of a million things. The trouble with humans is that we’re all amazingly unique in a totally similar way,” Janet pointed out with a tired sigh. God, she was tired. And worn thin.

“I was thinking more about antibodies.”

“Antibodies would require a presence of the infection-” Janet stopped, stunned. She gasped as she realized what Sam wanted to do. “Sam! You’re insane!”

“He would do it!” Sam insisted quietly. “For Daniel, he would. Even if it wouldn’t cure, it would buy time.”

Janet shook her head. “I can’t do it, Sam. I’m a Doctor. It’s my job to make people better, not purposely make them sick!”

Sam reached across the table and put her hand over her best friends. “Janet, please. Think about it. We’re running out of time. Ask him.”

~*~

"You want to WHAT?" Jack yelled. He ignored the warning glare from his commander. Were these people completely stupid?

"Colonel, this is a man made virus. It can reproduce, even mutate, but only within it's original programming. It was designed to go only so far. You’re perfectly healthy. I don’t think it would be any serious danger to your life," Janet explained calmly. She wasn't so wild about the idea herself, and she knew that it was risky. Normally, it would have been too damn risky, but she agreed with Sam. There was no choice here. It was the best chance she had to try and save Daniel's life. Even if it only bought time!

"Doctor, are you absolutely certain you can introduce this new virus without harming Colonel O’Neill?" General Hammond asked her. The logic of the suggestion made sense, he had to admit, however unorthodox it seemed.

"At this point, General, I can't guarantee it, no. But I would like to point out that Daniel's chances of surviving stand at zero right now. He's alive only because of machines. He's been in a coma for almost a full week. The longer it takes to find this cure, the more risk there is of brain damage."

"DanielJackson would consider it preferable to be dead than living as only a fraction of what he was," Teal'c pointed out. There was a moment of silence as prayers that it wasn't too late were sent out to whatever higher power they believed was listening at the moment. Teal'c was right, of course.

"Will this work as a cure for the rest of us, as well?" Hammond inquired to break the silence.

"Without knowing the extent of Colonel O’Neill’s immunity, I can’t answer that. We can hope. I've already tried every vaccine known to man, and a few that aren't. It may not cure Daniel, either. I believe it will, at the very least, force the virus into dormancy. It may only end up buying me time, Sir. But every second we can buy is worth its weight in gold at this point."

Hammond purposely looked at the Colonel, letting him know it was his choice. There was no way he could order something like this. 

Jack sighed. He knew that for all his protests, and loud objections, there really wasn’t much of a choice. Any chance, however slim, at saving his lover was worth a week of flu. Janet had explained that she would have to introduce the original strain into him to make the necessary antibodies to help Daniel. He knew she was hoping that the basic building blocks of the mutated strains would react as well.

For Danny? “Let’s do it.”

~*~

Jack paced around his lockdown quarters. The flu had come and gone within two days in him. He was still sniffling a little, but nothing too serious. He was proud of his body's ability to kick ass as well as it did! Doctor Fraiser had injected the mixture of antibodies and some other gobley gook into Danny yesterday morning. SG-1 had been holding their breath ever since then. 

There had been no change in Daniel's condition either way. It frightened Jack that that this was considered good news! He'd given up trying to hang around the infirmary to get a peak at his lover. He'd been reduced to pacing around in his small room, like a caged animal. More than anything he wanted to be sitting next to Daniel, watching over him, talking to him.

It wasn't fair. He'd only had Daniel for two days! Two kisses and one night together wasn't enough! He'd never had a chance to prove to Daniel he was, in fact, loved and greatly treasured. With all his intentions of waking up his friends and teammates to the condition their little family was in, he had also brought home a few truths to himself, about both his friendship and his relationship with Daniel. There was a lot of work to be done, and he was looking forward to every little bit of it!

Now, suddenly, it felt like he was losing it all before he ever had a chance to begin! This was far worse than when he'd thought Daniel was dead on Nem's planet, or on Apophis's ship. In both the other instances, the cut had been quick and brutal. Watching his lover dying slowly and being unable to offer even the small comfort of his presence was torture!

He wanted to be strong for Daniel, for Sam and Teal'c, but he couldn't. Every alarm, every phone ring made him breathless, then reduced him to tears of relief when it wasn't about Daniel. He remembered the words he'd said to his friend while trying to impart the message that he was in love with him. "You lead, I follow." At the time, he'd only known it was true, not really what he meant by it.

Suddenly, he had a very clear idea of what he meant. He knew deep within his soul that if Daniel died this time, he wouldn't survive him long. Jack knew he'd try, of course, simply because he had two other friends who would need him badly. But it wouldn't be enough. Even now, he died a little more inside with each passing minute.

It couldn't go on like this. Daniel needed him, and he needed Daniel. Damned the consequences! 

~*~

Janet looked up at her office door to see Kelly standing there, her hand moved to knock. She quickly read her nurse, and nodded.

"So, he's here." She was too tired to play guessing games.

"Yes, Doctor. Do you want me to call security?" Janet shook her head. No point. The damage was done now. She rose and walked out. She almost smiled when she saw the hunched figure sitting by Daniel's bed, hands firmly clasped together, running his thumb over the thin fingers and knuckles. Janet figured she'd done well by keeping him away this long. She tucked her smile away, and tried to manage a stern expression as she approached Jack O'Neill.

"Colonel, I believe I told SG-1 that you shouldn't be with Daniel. You could infect him with a newer strain." Jack turned his big brown eyes on her. She was surprised to see them brimming with tears. Jack never let his feelings show so openly. Their little discussion on his sexuality and his feelings for Daniel had been a rarity.

"I couldn't- " he started hesitantly, afraid she would still send him away. He licked his lips and tried again. "I had to be here, Janet. It's his biggest fear, you know, dying alone." Janet firmly kept her surprise hidden. No, she hadn't known that. It was even more surprising that the Colonel did.

"You can stay with him during the day, but at night I want you to sleep for at least six hours, or I'll have security escort you out." Jack smiled thinly at her.

"Do what I say, not what I do, eh Doc?" 

Janet chuckled. He had her there. "I'll keep the curtains pulled over. Talk to him, Jack, give him something to fight for." Jack nodded and turned back to 'their' patient, and began telling Daniel about how he needed a better note taking system. Smiling, she walked away. Walking into her office, she collapsed on the couch. For the first time in what seemed like a very long time, she felt safe enough to sleep. Daniel couldn't be in better hands.

~*~

"Doctor Fraiser! Look!" Nathan was almost bouncing as he handed Janet Daniel's latest test results. She opened the folder, and she grinned. She gave a very loud mental 'YES!' She nodded her thanks to the nurse, and hurried over to where Daniel's shadow sat reading his friend a book.

"Moby Dick, Colonel?" Jack shrugged. He highly suspected Daniel had never read it before. Fiction had never seemed to have a place in Daniel's life.

"Yeah, well. Nope, don't have a good comeback for that one. Moving on. You look chipper." Janet grinned, holding up the folder.

"The foreign virus is diminishing quickly. We’ve had to give him several shots of the new vaccine. His own immune system is pretty much shot."

"So, it helped? He’ll be all right?”

"I want to give it some more time before we get too optimistic, but yes, it helped. All we can do now is hope he recovers. And he could still become reinfected. I still have to find the cure. All we've done is buy him some time."

Jack nodded. He didn't like her choice of words, but Janet had been honest about this from the beginning. The odds were stacked against his lover, and it had been a dangerous gamble to begin with. He looked at his watch, and blinked in surprise. 

"Happy New Year, Janet."

~*~

Major Sam Carter walked the silent halls of the SGC. The attitude around the base was as cold and grim as the cement walls that surrounded them. Everyone was waiting with bated breath for Doctor Fraiser or herself to find a cure. Unfortunately, Sam had already helped as much as she could. She wasn't an MD, and knew very little beyond the simple logics of the situation.

Christmas had come and gone with nary a whisper to mark it's passing. New Years Eve and Day had been the same. That in itself told a great deal about the feelings on the base. They were soldiers, and work always came first. But on those few special days, they could and would celebrate, New Year was a must! Another year alive. Any soldier who was worth his or her salt sat for at least a minute in total silence after midnight, reflecting on all those who weren't there to celebrate the next upcoming year, and were thankful for the ones that were still alive.

There had been no cheer last night. Not even a whisper of happiness. 

Sam could, perhaps, wonder about the cause. For herself and SG-1, Hammond and Janet, there would be no celebrating while their teammate and friend fought for every breath he took. That didn't explain the rest of the base. As long as no one had caffeine, or ate high protein foods, then they were safe. The virus would remain dormant. 

"MajorCarter." She stopped at Teal'c’s call, and waited for him to catch up with her.

"Are you getting something to eat?" she asked. Teal'c nodded.

"O'Neill requires sustenance."

"Is there any change?" She winced at the look Teal'c gave her. Only those who didn't know Teal'c, thought he was stoic and expressionless. To SG-1 he was almost an open book.

"You have not been to see DanielJackson?"

"I've been busy helping Janet as much as I can. We're both out of ideas, Teal'c. We just don't where to go from here. We're still missing something." Teal'c nodded at her gently.

"You require rest, MajorCarter, as does DoctorFraiser. DanielJackson's life is no longer threatened by the virus, there is time."

"Maybe you're right, Teal'c. I'm going to go drop in on the Colonel and Daniel before I bug out."

~*~

"You gotta’ wake up, Danny. We haven't had enough time together. This dying thing is getting old, you know." Jack reached up to brush an errant bang from his lover’s forehead. Knowing this was the most he could do, brought tears to his eyes, and for once, he didn't bother to hide them: so they slipped down his face unchecked.

"I need you, Danny. I always have. I just had a lousy way of showing it. We all need you. You hold us together, even if we're too busy fighting over and with you, to know it. I have so much to show you. You have so much to show us. There are worlds out there that we desperately need to see through your eyes. Mei spiritus vita, come back to me, please, Mei Carus."

~*~

Sam backed away from the curtains, glad she hadn't been discovered. She didn't know if she wanted to cry or laugh as she turned down the hallway and headed for her quarters. Once there she slammed the door and sat on the bed.

The Colonel and Daniel? It had to be. She understood enough Latin to roughly translate the actual words. My breathing life. My Beloved. Even if she hadn't known the words, the love behind them was impossible to ignore. She should have seen it. Instead of looking for the real reasons the Colonel had pushed Daniel away, she had foolishly chosen to believe that he was doing it to get closer to her.

Considering things were just as bad between herself and the Colonel, it hadn't been very logical, but damn it, the heart didn't do logic. 

Sam reached up to touch her face, and expected to find it wet. She was surprised when it wasn't. Frowning, she searched her own emotions. She was stunned, yes, and a little angry, true! But she felt neither grief nor blazing jealousy. Had her crush for the Colonel been merely that? A schoolgirl crush? She thought about it carefully, as though analyzing one of her puzzles.

Weighed against the love in the voice that had spoken to her little brother, could she really feel anything but a sadness for the loss of something she'd never really had, and a little joy that her 'little brother' had found someone who could protect him, and would love him without hesitation? She knew the Colonel well enough to know that he was an all or nothing guy. So was Daniel. If they'd entered a relationship together, it hadn't been done lightly.

Her training told her she should be disgusted. She thought that she believed that homosexuals didn't belong in the military, but her love of her friends demanded her silence. Their happiness meant something to her, no matter what her personal loss in the matter. After all, what was family without acceptance?

Determination lined her face. She would protect her family as viciously as any mother with her cubs. She couldn't ask, and the Colonel couldn't tell, but she would support them. If the Colonel and her little brother wanted each other, then by God, she'd make sure they had each other!

With that silent vow made, she felt something lift from her shoulders, a weight she hadn't even realized she'd been carrying. She'd put her life on hold for a chance at something she knew deep down would never have worked. It was time to take her life back!

~*~

"UNAUTHORIZED GATE ACTIVATION!"

General Hammond left his office quickly, frowning. The only team left off world knew not to come home yet!   
"Tok'ra IDC, Sir."

"Open the iris, Sergeant."

They watched, curious, until Jacob stepped through. General Hammond left the control room, ordering that Major Carter be paged.

"Stand down!" Hammond ordered the SF's, then waited at the bottom of the ramp for his old friend. "Jacob! This is an unexpected surprise! Unfortunately, your timing couldn't be worse."

"We heard about the virus, George. That's why I'm here." They moved together to leave the gateroom, heading for the infirmary. General Hammond gave Jacob an interested, and hopeful glance. What card could the old dog pull out of his sleeve?

"In that case, your timing couldn't be better. We're stumped here." Hammond filled in the Tok'ra on their way to the infirmary.

~*~

Jack sat in silence. He'd read, talked, argued, yelled, and begged to Daniel for days. No effect. Even with the new vaccine working in his system, the stress of the illnesses had left Daniel's body too weak to even try to breathe on it's own. The ventilator was a presence that kept Jack on the edge of panic. As long as the machine was breathing for his lover, then there was a chance they would have to turn it off.

The few attempts to turn it down had been disastrous. A few more grey hairs he could place solely on Daniel's shoulders. That silent comment didn't help lighten Jack's mood. He was terrified he'd been given a bare taste of something, and now he was going to lose it. 

Jack had been given time to realize just how much he was taking on in this relationship. Daniel swore he wasn't fragile, but Jack hadn't been able to see him as anything else. It wasn't until the Colonel had sat here for days that he clued in on what his friend had been trying to tell him. 

Those dreadful events had happened years ago. Daniel had survived them, then survived the time after wards, and had even managed to pull himself through a relationship or two afterwards. Yes, Daniel had limits. Sex with Jack was a terrifying prospect to the young man, and he had a few daemons to exorcise before he could attempt it. What Jack had missed completely was that Daniel was willing to try. He wouldn't have entered the relationship if he wasn't.

As vulnerable as Daniel seemed after his confession, Jack had forgotten a very important part of his best friend's personality. With the right motivation, Daniel would fight through anything. Underneath the kindness, the gentleness, and the naivety, Daniel had a core of tempered steel that had seen him through experiences that would have shattered weaker souls. 

"Ah, Danny, I've been such a fool. What made me think so little of your heart to believe that you wouldn't fight just as hard for us?" Daniel didn't want his past to matter. He had a goal in mind, and he was going to bust his ass to make it. "I would have lost you, wouldn't I? If I had kept trying to treat you with kid gloves? You trusted me to support you, help you, and I was ready to smother you instead. You have to have patience with me, Danny. I forget, sometimes, the trials you've overcome. I forget to see past that lost little boy inside you. I've learned my lesson. Please come back to me so I can show you."

Jack turned from his lover when he heard voices approaching Daniel's side of the room. Daniel's usual guest bed had been available for him, of course. Placed at the far end of the infirmary, it had the most space to accommodate Daniel's usual barrage of visitors, as well as his permanent shadows, SG-1.

"We can try, George, but I'm not promising," Jacob finished as they landed.

Jack frowned. "Try what?" 

"We're sending a sample of the virus to the Tok'ra. Hopefully, they might be able to do something with it that we can't," Hammond answered. Jack nodded. He wasn't exactly a big fan of the Tok'ra. Snakes were snakes, in his books. But the SGC medical staff was stumped. There was nowhere else to go, no other options to try.

"We need a fresh sample of Daniel's blood, since he was the first one infected, even if it is dormant now, as well as a sample of the vaccine Doctor Fraiser concocted from Jack’s blood." Jacob explained as they hailed a nurse.

"Just do what you can, Jake." Jacob Carter nodded, and smiled, accepting of Jack's attempt at levity. 

"Is there anything you want us to do in the meantime?" General Hammond asked, willing to devote any resources needed to help. Jacob smiled and reached down and patted Daniel's arm.

"Just keep him alive until I get back."

~*~

Three days later, the base was free of the virus. Only one problem remained. Daniel hadn't awakened from his coma as yet. Janet tried to hide her concern from SG-1, knowing they knew the longer Daniel stayed comatose, the more dangerous it was. They hadn't even been able to remove the ventilator.

She approached Daniel's bed, and saw Sam sitting in the chair. Jack had retired for a few hours to finally get some sleep. The man was difficult to deal with. He varied between ranting at her for not being able to help Daniel, to begging her to do something. It was heartbreaking to see him so undone.

"Hey Sam. Are you all right?" she asked her long time friend. Sam nodded.

"Yeah, Janet. It's just hard, you know? We were all so convinced that once the virus was cured, he'd wake up. We're all just a little lost now. We don't know anything else we can do for him." 

Janet smiled. "We're doing everything we can. We've got him on thiamin, glucose and naloxene drips. I'm a little worried about the effects the cure for the virus will have on his weakened system. That's why I've increased the naloxene now that I'm sure the virus is gone. The sooner we can flush his system of all this foreign stuff, the better. It's been a hell of a few weeks, Sam. We've put his body through a lot. It's not too far a leap to think that it's decided it needs time to clean up, and regain some strength."

"So, if you had to count, how many times would you say you've delivered that speech? I'd put money on at least ten." 

Janet laughed. "The Colonel wants answers. He forgets that a lot put Daniel here. It just might take a lot to get him out."

"Colonel O'Neill just wants to take him home and look after him. He doesn't like things he can't shoot," Sam teased lightly. Then she frowned. "He's afraid, Janet. We all are. It's just so typical for Daniel to get the raw end of the deal. He's cut it close a few times. We're all terrified that each time it happens, it'll be the last."

Janet nodded sympathetically. She understood that fear all too well, and would not belittle it by making a joke out of it. The jokes would come when and if Daniel pulled another miracle out of his hat, when they could rest assured that he was safe, at least for now. She patted her friend's shoulder.

"Just give it time, Sam. The human body doesn't like having so much thrown at it. Give him time to clear his system, and let his body clean itself out. Especially since half the chemicals now floating around in there are alien. The Tok'ra weren't exactly forthcoming about what was in that cure." A fact that had pissed her off to no end! 

Sam gave her friend a small smile. “They just don’t want to admit that you pretty much had it, and it only needed one more little ingredient,” Sam joked, knowing she was probably close to the truth. Janet laughed. Sam realized how long it had been since she’d heard laughter around the base. "Thanks, Janet."

~*~ 

Jack looked up from the book he was reading. Moby Dick had been finished the day the ventilator came out. It had been a small victory, but a celebrated one nonetheless. 'If' had become 'when'. Daniel lay still, the clear nasal prongs and tubing making him seem vulnerable, as well as all the other tubes and leads they had on underneath the scrubs. Machines beeped merrily away. Daniel's pallor made the crisp white sheets look bright in comparison.

"You're still so sick, Danny. Got a long way to go. I'd really appreciate it if you woke up, though. Would love to see those baby blues. You should really have some compassion for the comfort of others. You know I'm driving the medical staff nuts. Not to mention my desk is full of paperwork just begging to be done. General Hammond is getting ready to order you to wake up, just so I can get some work done. And you know how he is about obeying orders. I forgot our Teddy Bear of a General could be a grizzly bear, too!" 

Jack set down the book and leaned over his partner, taking his hand and gently rubbing his thumb over the thin knuckles. Oh yeah. Long way to go. Weeks in a coma hadn't exactly helped Daniel's weight situation. He watched his thumb move as though he were speaking to it, instead of the still form of his friend.

"These knees are getting too old for this chair. I need to get Fraiser to order me a special chair. 'Course, it would be nice if you'd stop ending up in here. That would be a big help!" Jack paused as the machines blipped. They'd been doing that a lot over the last few days. Janet didn't seem concerned about it, so neither was he, but it was annoying. "Gotta tell you, Danny, that this whole bedside vigil gig is getting old, too. Truth is, I'm seriously thinking about retiring. Again. It's been fun, really, but this old heart just can't take this anymore, Mei Carus. The knees aren't in such great shape anymore either. Don't know what you see in this worn out Colonel, but he's all yours, mind, body and soul."

Jack laid his forehead on that hand as his voice cracked. He let the tears fall freely. The privacy curtains prevented anyone in passing from seeing. Even if they hadn't, he simply didn't care anymore. The man he loved had been comatose for over a month. Nothing else mattered. 

"J'ck?" Jack's head rose quickly to see two blue spheres looking at him. He hardly dared breathe as he stood and reached for the call button, just in case he was imagining this. But those eyes tracked his movements. It was real! Daniel was awake!

"Yeah, I'm here." He felt a fresh set of tears, but didn't bother to wipe them away, even if Janet was coming. His knees wanted him to sit again, but he refused to take his eyes from Daniel's, as if Jack could keep him awake by not losing eye contact. So many emotions washed through him, he almost felt as though he was going into shock. Relief warred with anxiety, love mixed with guilt, so many thoughts and feelings. It was hard to pick out one. So he relied on instinct. Daniel needed him, so he had to be strong.

He heard the click of heels hurrying across the floor. Jack reached his hand to brush his knuckles across Daniel's cheek just as the curtain was yanked back.

"Colonel... Daniel!" Janet dropped the reprimand as soon as she saw her patient was awake. She hurried about him, checking vitals, flashing that damned pen light into his eyes, taking his pulse with her fingers on his wrist, as though she didn't trust the machines. God, Daniel was awake! Jack wanted to dance with joy, to sit down and sob his relief at the same time.

"Daniel, can you tell me your birthday?" Daniel shook his head "no", and Jack felt his heart drop. Was there brain damage? Then he saw the glint in Daniel's eyes as a smile formed on those pale lips. Janet frowned.

"Why not?" Daniel looked over to Jack, and licked his lips, slowly, deliberately. Jack breathed a sigh of relief, as he understood. He left, and came back with a cup of ice chips. He fed some to the weak man slowly, and was rewarded with a brilliant smile.

"July 8th." Daniel coughed. Even with the ice chips, his throat was dry and raw.

"Take it easy, Buddy. No more questions. Doc, would you be so kind as to gather the rest of the mob?" Janet beamed a smile at him and nodded. She understood Jack wanted a minute or two of privacy. Daniel's vitals were weak, but well. She saw no reason to deny him a short time with Daniel.

After she left, Jack turned back to his lover.

"How are you feeling?" Daniel coughed, then let his eyes rake over the older man.

"You... look... like... shit..." Jack could hear how painful it was to talk, but smiled anyway.

"You aren't exactly a pageant queen yourself." Daniel laughed weakly.

"You... kidding? With... my looks... and charm? That crown... is mine." Jack laughed, loudly, and freely, for the first time since Christmas Eve.

"Watch it, or I might start thinking you have some interesting hobbies!" He teased. Daniel smiled. He had managed as much as he could, Jack could tell. Approaching voices told him Carter and Teal'c were on their way.

Jack reached down and gripped the frail hand as tightly as he dared. They had missed the holidays, a virus had taken over the base, he had a massive stack of paperwork waiting for him, Daniel still had a long way to go, and he had at least a handful of new grey hairs. But Daniel was awake, Carter and Teal'c would be here soon, the team was back together, he had gained back something he might have lost through his own over protective tendencies, and a profound understanding of a strength forged under fire. 

Yep. All was right in the world of one Colonel Jack O'Neill.

The End


End file.
